Day 6: Not before Bed

What a long day. Felt like I was going non-stop, but not fast-paced. All work related stuff, which would have been fine if I would have taken a half hour break to reset my mind. Most of the day, it felt like I was using work and productivity to escape other unwanted thought processes. Work usually feels safe and there are usually benefits, one way or another, in time and energy spent towards success. Still, it took forever to slow down long enough to meditate.

I did not stop until well after midnight. Not really a wise move. Then I was planning on going to sleep after my session. Also, not wise (I'd find out later). I used the iPhone app again, sitting upright in my bed, covered in pillows and blankets.

It was a great session. I think I started over heating though. When I start out, I'm usually cold, something I get easily if I'm not moving. Just like the last time I tried to meditate in this spot, I got too hot and fell out of my state of mind. Frustrated that I did not have the control or discipline to continue, I took a deep breath and let it go and tried to go to sleep. That's kind of where the problem furthered.

I have issues sleeping all the time. I woke up after just a few hours. I was either really rested or wide awake for another reason, maybe I was still angry - possible. One part of me wanted to believe that I had found some kind of combination of sleep and meditation that would give me the rest I needed without the time investment of normal sleep. I was hoping for efficiency and productivity. The other part(s) of me was really sore from Crossfit and ninja training that I just wanted to sleep through that pain as well.

I like dream spaces and meditations because for those moments, you are not limited to your body. I think I have a very capable body and it grows more so everyday in my training. In a dream space, I can work out all kinds of things; problematic, spiritual, and emotional. Though I may not be sleeping as long as I'd like at a time, my dreams have become very entertaining and lucid of late. I'll enjoy that if it continues.

Today's session, approximately 23 minutes.